Supposed to be happy. it was not meant to be. Supposed to be loved, it was not meant to be. so many supposed to bes...

i dun know what is with me now! maybe i am going mad, maybe its my guilt of my constant negligence. i really do not know. all i know is that i am totally fucked up if i do not do something about my results although i have done a shit load. now my teachers tell my parents that i am like a totally different person after bsc and i am quite fucked up! damn!

i have no bloody idea what i am supposed to do. no one can help me. Games are not allowing me to relieve stress, music is not taking my mind off things. i guess studying is my last resort. going to drown myself in music and books during the june holidays.

however, i am not afraid to keep on living and i am not afraid to walk this bloody world alone.

totally in a mess,
good nights, this bloody world!

failures... successes... failures... successes

life is never a straight line. there is practically nothing on this earth that travels in a straight line... light travels in waves, aeroplanes fly at a gradient. nothing is straight. ups and downs are inevitable.

failure, something that i have been learning to cope with recently. i know that meeting with failures is inevitable but i just cannot take it in my stride. i break down and cry (literally). i just can't take it although i tell myself i have done my best.

however i have learnt from a great senior that if we fail, then just take it as it is. as common and as stupid it may sound. it made alot of sense to me. in life when we fall we pick ourselves up and we progress.furthermore we must not make the same mistakes. fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, shame on you. without making mistakes, we will not know many things. it is our fear of making mistakes that has made us such fragile beings, especially since we have attained so much. the higher we go the greater the fear, and when we meet our fear straight in the face, we shatter to pieces, blown to smithereens.

the scary part about success is the failure which results from the erosion of personal morals and values and complacency. i have learnt my lesson. after attaining success i will try even harder so as to attain more successes and make sure io only go up not down.

for many of my friends out there who have suffered the same fate as i have. i urge u to pick yourself up, heal your wounds and continue moving forward. only by moving forward can you attain success.

Lastly, do your best in whatever you do, live life to the fullest and have no regrets!

what happens when you have to say goodbye?
getting emotional again. seeing everybody leaving boarding school for the june holidays and knowing that many of them would not come back leaves me flabbergasted at how time flies. i have yet again failed to treasure the precious time spent with all my friends and now it is too late. time will not stop or go back no matter how much i want...

recounting the first day when i stepped into boarding school this year, i could hear the soothing guitar melody drifting into my ear. yes, you guys have guessed it. Gunny, jun yi, is the music bringer, the person who can make you forget all your worries as his voice reaches your ears. he is both my mentor, and my very good friend. guiding me in many aspects of guitar playing, teaching me the basics and all the other stuff. on top of that, he gave me a very meaningful insight to life in which i could never find it anywhere else. Respect bro, you have earned it. I will always hold you in high regard, you have nevertheless greatly impacted my life.

i will also definitely miss my very good buddies who shared similar interest with me and was there to help me through both my studies and my life. Marcus and Edmond, without you in boarding school, my life might just very well go back to the mundane and boring one i always lead when i was alone at home. Hearing your voices never fail to cheer me up when i am down. plus the both of you have really thought me to how to embrace failures. the two of you are able to take it in your stride and move on unlike me. i have learnt the never say die attitude from the both of you guys. Marcus, you were there when i was so down, i almost lost myself. you pulled me up and spurred me to go on. Edmond, although everyone takes you as a laughing stock. i had always held you in high regard. your ability to persevere through all these months have greatly inspired me. from someone that was at the bottom of the class, you have sprang to the top not by luck but by sheer determination and hard work. i salute you. i am greatly inspired by the two of you guys and cant thank the both og you enough. however, no matter how much i wish you guys would want to continue this programm, i cannot enforce and impose my views on you guys. i just like to say a very big thank you to you guys. You guys rock my life dude! P.S. thanks for the gift edmond, i really appreciate that you brought it back from taiwan just for me. thanks a million

Obviously there are many of my great boarding mates that helped me greatly in my studies, Zhong hui, Qin Jiang, Tiet ho and many other people. you guys have definitely helped me alot in my studies. although i am not a stellar student like you guys and am far out of my league, you guys chose to help me and not just leave me in the lurch. i am thankful for i know you guys are people who are hard to find. however it pains me that you guys are leaving. however i will work hard like you guys and make sure your efforts do not go to waste.

there are many other people that made my life in boarding school so colourful and so full of life and vigour. Werty, yan Porn, kerry, derrick, weijun and austin and the a few sec threes. i am thankful that you guys could tolerate me for half a year and helped me out in many ways. being so loudly irritating and having outbursts of random acts, i am very grateful to have friends like you guys. i have also learnt much from you guys. "Do not be so pessimistic" --- Yan Porn. i will remember this definitely. werty, i need to thank you for guiding me in geog and i greatly appreciate your efforts especially since it ate into your sleeping time. my apologies. Derrick, every time i see you i know i must MUG! this is gd as it constantly reminds me of my job as a student. Wei jun, your optimistic outlook on life has also reminded me not to be so sad and down everyday. Austin, you provided me with an opportunity to spill my heart out on some things. i thank you very much for it. Thx a mil you guys rock.

all of you guys that i did not mention also played a part in my fantastic boarding school life! (esp all the bsp ppl!)

but all hope is not lost. at least i will have my f3 people with me next term. this is kinda heart warming but i still miss all of you guys.

i can't believe it but i am crying as i type. this is too emotional, all the memories, both sad and happy. 3 months together and now we must split. however i hope our friendship maintains strong and we will still have that common bond we share.

Crying... definitely something that will let all your shitty feelings out.
working so hard to achieve my goal, I am put down by just 2 fucked up subjects plus more to come. It is as if I had been pushed down from 10th floor. This totally fucked up my life. Anyways I cried... for a long half an hour, and everytime I think of it, tears start welling up again. Life sucks. What is the point of all this. We all die eventually. My goal now seems so distant. Chasing it might cause me to fall flat on my face again. Slugging like a mad dog, working till I fall sick and I get this piece of shit back. I did my best and obviously it was not enough. Shall stop this self pity. I am gonna trash next terms exam upside down inside up. Last but not least, have a fucking nice day everyone.

Supposed to be happy. it was not meant to be. Supposed to be loved, it was not meant to be. so many supposed to bes...

i dun know what is with me now! maybe i am going mad, maybe its my guilt of my constant negligence. i really do not know. all i know is that i am totally fucked up if i do not do something about my results although i have done a shit load. now my teachers tell my parents that i am like a totally different person after bsc and i am quite fucked up! damn!

i have no bloody idea what i am supposed to do. no one can help me. Games are not allowing me to relieve stress, music is not taking my mind off things. i guess studying is my last resort. going to drown myself in music and books during the june holidays.

however, i am not afraid to keep on living and i am not afraid to walk this bloody world alone.

totally in a mess,
good nights, this bloody world!

failures... successes... failures... successes

life is never a straight line. there is practically nothing on this earth that travels in a straight line... light travels in waves, aeroplanes fly at a gradient. nothing is straight. ups and downs are inevitable.

failure, something that i have been learning to cope with recently. i know that meeting with failures is inevitable but i just cannot take it in my stride. i break down and cry (literally). i just can't take it although i tell myself i have done my best.

however i have learnt from a great senior that if we fail, then just take it as it is. as common and as stupid it may sound. it made alot of sense to me. in life when we fall we pick ourselves up and we progress.furthermore we must not make the same mistakes. fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, shame on you. without making mistakes, we will not know many things. it is our fear of making mistakes that has made us such fragile beings, especially since we have attained so much. the higher we go the greater the fear, and when we meet our fear straight in the face, we shatter to pieces, blown to smithereens.

the scary part about success is the failure which results from the erosion of personal morals and values and complacency. i have learnt my lesson. after attaining success i will try even harder so as to attain more successes and make sure io only go up not down.

for many of my friends out there who have suffered the same fate as i have. i urge u to pick yourself up, heal your wounds and continue moving forward. only by moving forward can you attain success.

Lastly, do your best in whatever you do, live life to the fullest and have no regrets!

what happens when you have to say goodbye?
getting emotional again. seeing everybody leaving boarding school for the june holidays and knowing that many of them would not come back leaves me flabbergasted at how time flies. i have yet again failed to treasure the precious time spent with all my friends and now it is too late. time will not stop or go back no matter how much i want...

recounting the first day when i stepped into boarding school this year, i could hear the soothing guitar melody drifting into my ear. yes, you guys have guessed it. Gunny, jun yi, is the music bringer, the person who can make you forget all your worries as his voice reaches your ears. he is both my mentor, and my very good friend. guiding me in many aspects of guitar playing, teaching me the basics and all the other stuff. on top of that, he gave me a very meaningful insight to life in which i could never find it anywhere else. Respect bro, you have earned it. I will always hold you in high regard, you have nevertheless greatly impacted my life.

i will also definitely miss my very good buddies who shared similar interest with me and was there to help me through both my studies and my life. Marcus and Edmond, without you in boarding school, my life might just very well go back to the mundane and boring one i always lead when i was alone at home. Hearing your voices never fail to cheer me up when i am down. plus the both of you have really thought me to how to embrace failures. the two of you are able to take it in your stride and move on unlike me. i have learnt the never say die attitude from the both of you guys. Marcus, you were there when i was so down, i almost lost myself. you pulled me up and spurred me to go on. Edmond, although everyone takes you as a laughing stock. i had always held you in high regard. your ability to persevere through all these months have greatly inspired me. from someone that was at the bottom of the class, you have sprang to the top not by luck but by sheer determination and hard work. i salute you. i am greatly inspired by the two of you guys and cant thank the both og you enough. however, no matter how much i wish you guys would want to continue this programm, i cannot enforce and impose my views on you guys. i just like to say a very big thank you to you guys. You guys rock my life dude! P.S. thanks for the gift edmond, i really appreciate that you brought it back from taiwan just for me. thanks a million

Obviously there are many of my great boarding mates that helped me greatly in my studies, Zhong hui, Qin Jiang, Tiet ho and many other people. you guys have definitely helped me alot in my studies. although i am not a stellar student like you guys and am far out of my league, you guys chose to help me and not just leave me in the lurch. i am thankful for i know you guys are people who are hard to find. however it pains me that you guys are leaving. however i will work hard like you guys and make sure your efforts do not go to waste.

there are many other people that made my life in boarding school so colourful and so full of life and vigour. Werty, yan Porn, kerry, derrick, weijun and austin and the a few sec threes. i am thankful that you guys could tolerate me for half a year and helped me out in many ways. being so loudly irritating and having outbursts of random acts, i am very grateful to have friends like you guys. i have also learnt much from you guys. "Do not be so pessimistic" --- Yan Porn. i will remember this definitely. werty, i need to thank you for guiding me in geog and i greatly appreciate your efforts especially since it ate into your sleeping time. my apologies. Derrick, every time i see you i know i must MUG! this is gd as it constantly reminds me of my job as a student. Wei jun, your optimistic outlook on life has also reminded me not to be so sad and down everyday. Austin, you provided me with an opportunity to spill my heart out on some things. i thank you very much for it. Thx a mil you guys rock.

all of you guys that i did not mention also played a part in my fantastic boarding school life! (esp all the bsp ppl!)

but all hope is not lost. at least i will have my f3 people with me next term. this is kinda heart warming but i still miss all of you guys.

i can't believe it but i am crying as i type. this is too emotional, all the memories, both sad and happy. 3 months together and now we must split. however i hope our friendship maintains strong and we will still have that common bond we share.

Crying... definitely something that will let all your shitty feelings out.
working so hard to achieve my goal, I am put down by just 2 fucked up subjects plus more to come. It is as if I had been pushed down from 10th floor. This totally fucked up my life. Anyways I cried... for a long half an hour, and everytime I think of it, tears start welling up again. Life sucks. What is the point of all this. We all die eventually. My goal now seems so distant. Chasing it might cause me to fall flat on my face again. Slugging like a mad dog, working till I fall sick and I get this piece of shit back. I did my best and obviously it was not enough. Shall stop this self pity. I am gonna trash next terms exam upside down inside up. Last but not least, have a fucking nice day everyone.