"Keith!" my teacher called out, my math paper in his hand. I know i was about to be disappointed as always. Guess what, i was right. Apparently, my math grades were no better than last time as it seems. So i got 27/40. Having mixed feelings about it.

So apparently it seems, tests seems to give students nowadays alot of problems, being accountable to their parents for the grades they get. It seems like if we are unable to achieve that dream score our parents want, we would seem to have undermined our parents attempt of bring us up to become geniuses and achievers. So it seems, tests seem to be adding a lot more frowns to the faces of students nowadays. To put it bluntly, these tests are extremely stupid and useless. Using these tests results the adults will jump on some conclusions depending on what your results are. For example if one gets a low score, their family and friends would most probably jump to the conclusion that the kid is retarded and useless and would most probably not make it big in the future. However on the other hand, if one passes with flying colors, he or she would be seen as a future success. How is it that the adults based their immature and childish judgments on such minute things such as tests. This is extremely preposterous. I would really like the parents to use tests as a motivational factors to cheer and motivate the kid to study more instead of putting them down and hurting their feelings. Although it is true that tests are needed to gauge how the students fair in school, the emphasis placed should not be so massive. Furthermore in a elite class like mine, grades are all that matters. If i do not get an A1, they will take it as if i have failed. This is crazy. The pressure is insane even though i take it in my stride, it still haunts me till this day. I would really hope that one day tests would be wiped out from the world. However, having said that, it is a totally Utopian ideal which will never materialise. Arhh, how helpless i am. Pathetic.

Having vented all my anger on that,i have got to concede to some of the plus points of exams and tests. Due to the meritocratic style the Singaporean education system has adopted, they have placed heavy emphasis on tests and exams. Due to this, many students have no choice but to freak out over exams, push themselves to the limit just to barely scrape that mark that is needed. However this forceful way of handling things have inevitably lead to the majority of the students having higher than average grades. Hence, i think i still support the governments policies to a very very very small extent.

All in all, I have got to say that this is a love hate relationship i always shared with the singaporean education system. yes guys i know what you all want to say, it definitely is tough being a student.

Keith,
stunned

Social standings... hmmm There are many people in Singapore that can just walk into a boutique grab a bag and pay for it. Just look at the queue at the Louis Vuitton boutique at Orchard Ion. Every weekend without fail, i will drop by Orchard Ion to check the shops and every weekend without fail. The queue would be there. The people queuing are of vast differences. Some look like typical buisness man and women, with that air of confidence around them. Some are just typical Tom, Dick and Harrys you find on the street. And others look, to put it bluntly, rundowned. However no matter how pauper-like these people may look, they still come out with bags which states in big font "LOUIS VUITTON". I really am amazed by the Singaporean public, one day they can be complaining saying that the government did not give them enough bonus, their companies not paying them well and the other, they can throng these boutiques and spend money as if it came from the sky. So what can we say about Singaporeans? In my opinion, we are mostly a group of people who like to perceive to be rich. Many of us are guilty of being materialistic. I myself and extremely guilty. Just because we want to see the envious faces of friends, we go all out to get that coveted branded product. Students can beg their parents all the time, screaming and wailing, promising to get good grades or just throwing tantrums. Adults can scrim and save just to buy a bag or a shoe or a dress or even jewelery. All these painstaking actions just to hand over our money for a piece of animal hide or for a piece of cloth or metal with the names of the big brands on it.

Ok moving on to the topic proper. Today after tuition class, i took a lift with my parents and sister and my sister's friend and her sisters and their mother. (ok that was quite a mouthful, my bad) The mother was elegant, dressed in a black dress and heels and had a blonde hair with beautiful big curls at the end. She had a sweet smile too. So she and her family left the lift at level one and my family and I continued on to the basement where our car is. As we left the carpark and was about to make a turn. We saw the family walking into "Tony Roma's". I was like "o...k.... DAMN IT! THEY ARE RICH!" I personally thought they were affluent and my thoughts were confirmed. I wouldn't splurge on food even if i had the money as it all goes down my throat the same way other food do. I view people who spend so much on food as those who really have ALOT of money to spare. I mean why do you spend on something that eventually comes out of your ass as dung like all other food do.

From that moment onwards, i started hating my social status. I kept questioning myself why is someone able to enjoy themselves in a restaurant while i have to settle for a paltry plate of chicken rice. And guys, do not get me wrong, i appreciate and love chicken rice, even the cheapest one of them. i am also very appreciative of what i have. My point is that i wonder why life is so unfair? Ok anyways, during that ride home, my mind was in a whirl, questioning myself with all sorts of random questions. After about 15 minutes or so, i entered my condominium. i then happened to see one of the cleaners. He smiled to me as he waved to me. I waved back he smiled even more. I then had an epiphany. I am actually such an asshole. Even the cleaner can smile so widely as i waved back to him. I should learn to look at things in a way that benefits me so i will be happier. I should also go back to basics, use the simplest of things, demand the least from my parents, learn to live on my own, be happy with what i have and make do with what i have. I shall not hate my social standing anymore for it will only make my life more miserable.

Lastly, i would like to clarify things here. Most of you guys who read my blog have this common misconception that i am a rich asshole who squanders his parents money without giving it a second thought. Yes i do agree i am guilty of that sin a few months ago. However, as it seems i have now lost the tendency to buy stuff on sight. I will look and look and look and eventually walk away from the store. Some hidden force is helping me. Whatever it is or whoever you are, i gotta thank you so much. I hope this continues. The fact is that neither my parents earn big bucks and that i am just your average Joe. I used to perceive myself that i was rich, however reality has struck me hard. On top of that, it is human to be materialistic so i really admire those of you that are not affected by this human nature.

My worldly possessions are not going to get me anywhere in life and only through hard work can i break this vicious cycle of half pseudo poverty. I hope all of you will work hard and make a name for yourself in the future.

Keith,
Blank

Having been on my blog for very long due to varying reasons ranging from pure laziness to extreme fatigue.

Anyways, something striked me so hard that i have to blog again. Apparently, it seems of late that i have been really annoying people so hard they have told me in the face. Guess i have reached their breaking point. I have no idea what i should do, how am i suppose to change something that is deep rooted within me overnight. gradual changes never work as i always give up half way. Very frequently, this decision of wanting to be a recluse has popped out. Being a recluse will definitely save many people from their pain and will offer me some time for personal healing(something which i definitely need since i have been slaughtered by practically everything) everything seems fine on the outside. sigh, humans are just this brittle. the line between being in pieces and being whole is just separated by a fine thread. After all, i guess the stress that i am feeling is fed by me myself. If this continues, i might be on the brink of self destruction. Wonder what is really going on inside me.

Moving on, i find myself being overwhelmed with jealousy. How shameful, a boy like me being jealous. I am totally disappointed in myself. Jealous over what others have and what i don't, jealous over the most trivial of things. anyways i think it is kinda pathetic for me to be like this. I guess many of you know what i am talking about so i shall not dwell on this.

I still do not understand why until now i still get frustrated at the smallest of things. even a simple sms can frustrate me so much i want to smash my phone. Seems like something is not right in my head. Need to find the right medicine.

Exams are something that i have faced for my whole life, now i am scared out of my wits everytime it comes round no matter how hard i have prepared for it. i do not understand this self devolution. people around me are improving at insane speeds and i am left to eat their dust. haizzz as the chinese saying goes:"学习就像逆水行舟，不进则退“ seems like my "self-deemed enough preparation" was not enough. Now i am pissed with myself. People can tell me that grades are not the most important but i am afraid i would have to slam everyone of those who offer such "senseless" opinions. Among those who tell me that grades are not that important, most have already achieved significant success or have already achieved a stable career. In our present soceity which is extremely meritocratic, i do not see anyone with downright lousy grades having a good life. how can a government which focuses so much on academic performance tell us that grades is not that important. it is a total contradiction and total bullshit. So for all those out there taking major exams, i hope you would do your best and not regret your actions later. you guys might me facing alot of stress of late but just hang in there. the light at the end of the tunnel is nearer then you think! I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

Lastly to all you love birds out there (you guys know who i am talking about). Good luck with your relationship but make sure it remains a healthy one. And always place your studies as your top priority.

Keith,
dazed

"Keith!" my teacher called out, my math paper in his hand. I know i was about to be disappointed as always. Guess what, i was right. Apparently, my math grades were no better than last time as it seems. So i got 27/40. Having mixed feelings about it.

So apparently it seems, tests seems to give students nowadays alot of problems, being accountable to their parents for the grades they get. It seems like if we are unable to achieve that dream score our parents want, we would seem to have undermined our parents attempt of bring us up to become geniuses and achievers. So it seems, tests seem to be adding a lot more frowns to the faces of students nowadays. To put it bluntly, these tests are extremely stupid and useless. Using these tests results the adults will jump on some conclusions depending on what your results are. For example if one gets a low score, their family and friends would most probably jump to the conclusion that the kid is retarded and useless and would most probably not make it big in the future. However on the other hand, if one passes with flying colors, he or she would be seen as a future success. How is it that the adults based their immature and childish judgments on such minute things such as tests. This is extremely preposterous. I would really like the parents to use tests as a motivational factors to cheer and motivate the kid to study more instead of putting them down and hurting their feelings. Although it is true that tests are needed to gauge how the students fair in school, the emphasis placed should not be so massive. Furthermore in a elite class like mine, grades are all that matters. If i do not get an A1, they will take it as if i have failed. This is crazy. The pressure is insane even though i take it in my stride, it still haunts me till this day. I would really hope that one day tests would be wiped out from the world. However, having said that, it is a totally Utopian ideal which will never materialise. Arhh, how helpless i am. Pathetic.

Having vented all my anger on that,i have got to concede to some of the plus points of exams and tests. Due to the meritocratic style the Singaporean education system has adopted, they have placed heavy emphasis on tests and exams. Due to this, many students have no choice but to freak out over exams, push themselves to the limit just to barely scrape that mark that is needed. However this forceful way of handling things have inevitably lead to the majority of the students having higher than average grades. Hence, i think i still support the governments policies to a very very very small extent.

All in all, I have got to say that this is a love hate relationship i always shared with the singaporean education system. yes guys i know what you all want to say, it definitely is tough being a student.

Keith,
stunned

Social standings... hmmm There are many people in Singapore that can just walk into a boutique grab a bag and pay for it. Just look at the queue at the Louis Vuitton boutique at Orchard Ion. Every weekend without fail, i will drop by Orchard Ion to check the shops and every weekend without fail. The queue would be there. The people queuing are of vast differences. Some look like typical buisness man and women, with that air of confidence around them. Some are just typical Tom, Dick and Harrys you find on the street. And others look, to put it bluntly, rundowned. However no matter how pauper-like these people may look, they still come out with bags which states in big font "LOUIS VUITTON". I really am amazed by the Singaporean public, one day they can be complaining saying that the government did not give them enough bonus, their companies not paying them well and the other, they can throng these boutiques and spend money as if it came from the sky. So what can we say about Singaporeans? In my opinion, we are mostly a group of people who like to perceive to be rich. Many of us are guilty of being materialistic. I myself and extremely guilty. Just because we want to see the envious faces of friends, we go all out to get that coveted branded product. Students can beg their parents all the time, screaming and wailing, promising to get good grades or just throwing tantrums. Adults can scrim and save just to buy a bag or a shoe or a dress or even jewelery. All these painstaking actions just to hand over our money for a piece of animal hide or for a piece of cloth or metal with the names of the big brands on it.

Ok moving on to the topic proper. Today after tuition class, i took a lift with my parents and sister and my sister's friend and her sisters and their mother. (ok that was quite a mouthful, my bad) The mother was elegant, dressed in a black dress and heels and had a blonde hair with beautiful big curls at the end. She had a sweet smile too. So she and her family left the lift at level one and my family and I continued on to the basement where our car is. As we left the carpark and was about to make a turn. We saw the family walking into "Tony Roma's". I was like "o...k.... DAMN IT! THEY ARE RICH!" I personally thought they were affluent and my thoughts were confirmed. I wouldn't splurge on food even if i had the money as it all goes down my throat the same way other food do. I view people who spend so much on food as those who really have ALOT of money to spare. I mean why do you spend on something that eventually comes out of your ass as dung like all other food do.

From that moment onwards, i started hating my social status. I kept questioning myself why is someone able to enjoy themselves in a restaurant while i have to settle for a paltry plate of chicken rice. And guys, do not get me wrong, i appreciate and love chicken rice, even the cheapest one of them. i am also very appreciative of what i have. My point is that i wonder why life is so unfair? Ok anyways, during that ride home, my mind was in a whirl, questioning myself with all sorts of random questions. After about 15 minutes or so, i entered my condominium. i then happened to see one of the cleaners. He smiled to me as he waved to me. I waved back he smiled even more. I then had an epiphany. I am actually such an asshole. Even the cleaner can smile so widely as i waved back to him. I should learn to look at things in a way that benefits me so i will be happier. I should also go back to basics, use the simplest of things, demand the least from my parents, learn to live on my own, be happy with what i have and make do with what i have. I shall not hate my social standing anymore for it will only make my life more miserable.

Lastly, i would like to clarify things here. Most of you guys who read my blog have this common misconception that i am a rich asshole who squanders his parents money without giving it a second thought. Yes i do agree i am guilty of that sin a few months ago. However, as it seems i have now lost the tendency to buy stuff on sight. I will look and look and look and eventually walk away from the store. Some hidden force is helping me. Whatever it is or whoever you are, i gotta thank you so much. I hope this continues. The fact is that neither my parents earn big bucks and that i am just your average Joe. I used to perceive myself that i was rich, however reality has struck me hard. On top of that, it is human to be materialistic so i really admire those of you that are not affected by this human nature.

My worldly possessions are not going to get me anywhere in life and only through hard work can i break this vicious cycle of half pseudo poverty. I hope all of you will work hard and make a name for yourself in the future.

Keith,
Blank

Having been on my blog for very long due to varying reasons ranging from pure laziness to extreme fatigue.

Anyways, something striked me so hard that i have to blog again. Apparently, it seems of late that i have been really annoying people so hard they have told me in the face. Guess i have reached their breaking point. I have no idea what i should do, how am i suppose to change something that is deep rooted within me overnight. gradual changes never work as i always give up half way. Very frequently, this decision of wanting to be a recluse has popped out. Being a recluse will definitely save many people from their pain and will offer me some time for personal healing(something which i definitely need since i have been slaughtered by practically everything) everything seems fine on the outside. sigh, humans are just this brittle. the line between being in pieces and being whole is just separated by a fine thread. After all, i guess the stress that i am feeling is fed by me myself. If this continues, i might be on the brink of self destruction. Wonder what is really going on inside me.

Moving on, i find myself being overwhelmed with jealousy. How shameful, a boy like me being jealous. I am totally disappointed in myself. Jealous over what others have and what i don't, jealous over the most trivial of things. anyways i think it is kinda pathetic for me to be like this. I guess many of you know what i am talking about so i shall not dwell on this.

I still do not understand why until now i still get frustrated at the smallest of things. even a simple sms can frustrate me so much i want to smash my phone. Seems like something is not right in my head. Need to find the right medicine.

Exams are something that i have faced for my whole life, now i am scared out of my wits everytime it comes round no matter how hard i have prepared for it. i do not understand this self devolution. people around me are improving at insane speeds and i am left to eat their dust. haizzz as the chinese saying goes:"学习就像逆水行舟，不进则退“ seems like my "self-deemed enough preparation" was not enough. Now i am pissed with myself. People can tell me that grades are not the most important but i am afraid i would have to slam everyone of those who offer such "senseless" opinions. Among those who tell me that grades are not that important, most have already achieved significant success or have already achieved a stable career. In our present soceity which is extremely meritocratic, i do not see anyone with downright lousy grades having a good life. how can a government which focuses so much on academic performance tell us that grades is not that important. it is a total contradiction and total bullshit. So for all those out there taking major exams, i hope you would do your best and not regret your actions later. you guys might me facing alot of stress of late but just hang in there. the light at the end of the tunnel is nearer then you think! I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

Lastly to all you love birds out there (you guys know who i am talking about). Good luck with your relationship but make sure it remains a healthy one. And always place your studies as your top priority.

Keith,
dazed