Love, something that i try to stay far away from. after a few weeks of school it has came back to haunt me. oh gosh what am i supposed to do, i can't get a fucking grip over myself, its heads over toes for me.

it drives me crazy it drives me away from my usual path of life, it's a stairway to heaven.

But how can i love someone who i barely know, someone whom i talk to only by chance, someone whom i don't really know. is this infatuation? i'm confused. i need a chance, a chance to try this.

i mean fuck this, i would light up in ecstasy when i see ur face and that beautiful smile of yours, my heart would jump around. i am never the boy i used to be, so indifferent to love so focused on my goals in life. now i am a desperate one, frantically searching for the roads that would link us together, searching for love.

i would swoon whenever u give me that smile of yours, my heart would enrapture whenever i look into your eyes and i will fall for you every single time over and over again.

its an epiphany, my life will forever be controlled by the opposite sex, never can i escape, i can run but i can't hide, it is a monster, dreadful yet irresistible.

It sets in on you... The routine of life, the emotions of life, the pain of life, the happiness and the sadness all gets to you one day without you realizing. It is amazing how we humans are able to be so emotional, so sensitive to intangible objects so easily affected by movement of particles and so easily affected by mere shadows of our past.

Walking down a path with lush greenery on both sides, it sets my mind to flip open the book of my life once again, invoking memories and definitely emotions. No matter how much I tell myself what's done is done, it is impossible to keep away from this forbidden book. It is ironic, how much one wants to stay away from something sad or devastating the more the memory reappears. It is like a supermassive blackhole sucking you to it constantly. When will the torment ever end? I guess only time can give me the answer.

Sometimes I wonder why someone can really hate others to the core. I mean like hate really really doesn't exist in my dictionary. Somehow it is impossible to erase an emotional scar, inflicting one does permanent damage. One of my conversation with one of my friends brought about the matter of the lack of love and emotional care in teens today. Everyone is just so caught up with work leaving family ties and friendships at the back of their minds. How in the world did this happen? Meritocracy has finally shown it's ugly side. Well I do admit that studies is indeed the most important thing now to most teens but aren't friends equally important. Just take a look at people in school without friends! I feel hollow and dark whenever I lose a friend. Friends are like essential emotional condiments for the soul without them life would just be a piece of blank paper.

But the main thing is this: superficiality. It is easy to make friends, but is it easy for you to find a true one that literally sticks to you through thick and thin, through all the shit in life? through every minute thing? Honestly, no! Whilst it's sad it's true. We live in a world where personal gains come before everything where only you and you matters where people will willingly give up friendship for personal gain. I hope those tha read my post can make a difference simply by being sincere to your friends. It's that simple. Erase any perverse thoughts of personal gain and advantages leaving behind what's left in the core. Pure companionship. Bringing happiness and joy and only that.

It's time for me to go. Music lessons, hopefully the emotions will flow.

And 3 things only...

1) keep AN eye on a goal and keep the OTHER on your life
2) will power
3) A HIGH tolerance for PAIN

Thank you very much leibing, I will remember these for life!

so it all started with a simple greeting to an "elite"... and it ended with "what the fuck!?"

that was how bad it was. to think that actually we were harmonious, to think one hwachong actually exist. i mean so what if u self sgregated yourself, self called urself an elite. it doesn't make you better than anyone of us who are the majority of the student population. if you can't even handle inter-personal relationships being an self announced elite doesn't make you any better, being replete with ego just pisses people off...

enough of the ranting.

doing my blog post at night actually makes me think in a totally different angle. its definitely more emotional, more self doubtful and more sadness.

watching all the plays just now during dramafeste actually gave me an exaggerated view on what is really happening in life, it gave me the nasty but much needed wake up call on how to world actually behaves and how the people in it interact. it was caustic, both to the brain and both to the soul. it made me realise innocence that prevailed in those few people in school are just so precious and rare.

walking to the busstop in my jeans and long sleeves, i started to think why do people want to not associate themselves with others even though the others are a majority... the presence of it actually resonated alot. i'm gonna stop here because i am actually very tired. last thing, i think i should rethink my no relationship policy.

Love, something that i try to stay far away from. after a few weeks of school it has came back to haunt me. oh gosh what am i supposed to do, i can't get a fucking grip over myself, its heads over toes for me.

it drives me crazy it drives me away from my usual path of life, it's a stairway to heaven.

But how can i love someone who i barely know, someone whom i talk to only by chance, someone whom i don't really know. is this infatuation? i'm confused. i need a chance, a chance to try this.

i mean fuck this, i would light up in ecstasy when i see ur face and that beautiful smile of yours, my heart would jump around. i am never the boy i used to be, so indifferent to love so focused on my goals in life. now i am a desperate one, frantically searching for the roads that would link us together, searching for love.

i would swoon whenever u give me that smile of yours, my heart would enrapture whenever i look into your eyes and i will fall for you every single time over and over again.

its an epiphany, my life will forever be controlled by the opposite sex, never can i escape, i can run but i can't hide, it is a monster, dreadful yet irresistible.

It sets in on you... The routine of life, the emotions of life, the pain of life, the happiness and the sadness all gets to you one day without you realizing. It is amazing how we humans are able to be so emotional, so sensitive to intangible objects so easily affected by movement of particles and so easily affected by mere shadows of our past.

Walking down a path with lush greenery on both sides, it sets my mind to flip open the book of my life once again, invoking memories and definitely emotions. No matter how much I tell myself what's done is done, it is impossible to keep away from this forbidden book. It is ironic, how much one wants to stay away from something sad or devastating the more the memory reappears. It is like a supermassive blackhole sucking you to it constantly. When will the torment ever end? I guess only time can give me the answer.

Sometimes I wonder why someone can really hate others to the core. I mean like hate really really doesn't exist in my dictionary. Somehow it is impossible to erase an emotional scar, inflicting one does permanent damage. One of my conversation with one of my friends brought about the matter of the lack of love and emotional care in teens today. Everyone is just so caught up with work leaving family ties and friendships at the back of their minds. How in the world did this happen? Meritocracy has finally shown it's ugly side. Well I do admit that studies is indeed the most important thing now to most teens but aren't friends equally important. Just take a look at people in school without friends! I feel hollow and dark whenever I lose a friend. Friends are like essential emotional condiments for the soul without them life would just be a piece of blank paper.

But the main thing is this: superficiality. It is easy to make friends, but is it easy for you to find a true one that literally sticks to you through thick and thin, through all the shit in life? through every minute thing? Honestly, no! Whilst it's sad it's true. We live in a world where personal gains come before everything where only you and you matters where people will willingly give up friendship for personal gain. I hope those tha read my post can make a difference simply by being sincere to your friends. It's that simple. Erase any perverse thoughts of personal gain and advantages leaving behind what's left in the core. Pure companionship. Bringing happiness and joy and only that.

It's time for me to go. Music lessons, hopefully the emotions will flow.

And 3 things only...

1) keep AN eye on a goal and keep the OTHER on your life
2) will power
3) A HIGH tolerance for PAIN

Thank you very much leibing, I will remember these for life!

so it all started with a simple greeting to an "elite"... and it ended with "what the fuck!?"

that was how bad it was. to think that actually we were harmonious, to think one hwachong actually exist. i mean so what if u self sgregated yourself, self called urself an elite. it doesn't make you better than anyone of us who are the majority of the student population. if you can't even handle inter-personal relationships being an self announced elite doesn't make you any better, being replete with ego just pisses people off...

enough of the ranting.

doing my blog post at night actually makes me think in a totally different angle. its definitely more emotional, more self doubtful and more sadness.

watching all the plays just now during dramafeste actually gave me an exaggerated view on what is really happening in life, it gave me the nasty but much needed wake up call on how to world actually behaves and how the people in it interact. it was caustic, both to the brain and both to the soul. it made me realise innocence that prevailed in those few people in school are just so precious and rare.

walking to the busstop in my jeans and long sleeves, i started to think why do people want to not associate themselves with others even though the others are a majority... the presence of it actually resonated alot. i'm gonna stop here because i am actually very tired. last thing, i think i should rethink my no relationship policy.